This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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