think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
