god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
