Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
