just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize