I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
