Dual....:-)
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
