Ambien. No doubt about it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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