So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
