I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
