what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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