butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
