NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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