Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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