Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
