Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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