i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
