You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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