I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
