i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
