idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
