i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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