she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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