You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
