I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
