yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
