Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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