I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
