I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
