Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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