I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
