I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
