Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
