fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
