we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
COCAINE IS GR8
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize