Tell her she can't have a vagina
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
