I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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