He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
