It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just found a bag of teeth...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
