I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
