They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
