i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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