i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
