does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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