Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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