I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
