Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think i have herpe
just one?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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