Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
