whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
