oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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