Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
