so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
