he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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