he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize