how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need to calm my uterus...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
