Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
