I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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