Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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