Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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