Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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