then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
