This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
