I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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