great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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