I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
