It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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