Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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