and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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