Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
