Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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